אנוכי (Selfish)

We do not want to be told what to do.
We do not like limits.
We want people telling us that it's okay, we're okay.
We have our own motives in mind:
What would benefit me?
What fits into my agenda?

I don't want to waste time cooking
or sitting down with my family to eat,
so we'll drive through McDonalds.
I don't want to study,
so I'll cheat during the test.
I don't want to get an education or job,
so I'll live on welfare.
I don't want to be involved in my child's education,
so I'll send them to a public school
and never ask as much as their teacher's name.
I don't want to work on my marriage,
so I'll get a divorce.
I don't want to save enough money for that luxury house,
so I'll just take out a huge mortgage.
I don' want fate to determine who I fall in love with,
so I'll let a computer pick my match.
I don't want to stop eating this ice cream,
so I'll get a second helping.
I don't want to rely on anyone but myself,
so I'll quote Emerson.
I don't want to feel a shred of guilt over any of my decisions,
so I'll say they only concern me.
I'll say
"I'm in charge of my own moral code."
I'll say
"God just isn't for me."
I'll say
"Sin? That's such a harsh term..."
I'll say
"I'm a good person."

We'll convince ourselves
we're okay.
We'll convince ourselves
that our lives are about
fulfilling our own motives
and getting what we want.

Seamless

I find the cocooning state of America disheartening.

People move seamlessly from homes to cars, to offices, schools, malls and entertainment centers,
minimizing our contact with the natural environment.

We stare at laptops, cell phones, ipods, and blackberrys,
minimizing our contact with each other.

We rely on philosophy, yoga, science, business, politics, and ourself,
minimizing our reliance on our Christ.

Thoughts while walking through a mica gallery

- When I choose other things over my art, I sacrifice the opportunity to know myself better.

- Art requires time and stillness - two things I rarely allow it.

- An artists isn't good when he tries to fit a standard, even if he achieves that standard to perfection. He is only a success when he nurses and coddles his own passions.

- People can tell when you do halfway art. I really don't want that to be my identity as an artist, although that is often the work I make. I want refinement.

- I think I want to be remembered for:
*My relationships and interactions with people
*The things I do, especially for others
*The things I make

Sunday

The wren's morning whistles were the choir's song,
their flapping wings, the band;
the melting dew, it sang along;
a harmony devoid of man.

This City II

I feel like I'm finally looking at this city critically.
It is only after I've learned about it's structure,
it's history,
why it got this way,
and how it got this way
that I'm able to question if this is the best way,
if this is the only way.
Is there the potential of a city that functions better for everyone, and not just some?

Today I realize that I live in luxury, I am the minority, I am the other.

This City

I am in love with Baltimore, but I am not happy with her.
Her divisions are too sharp, her walls too high.
Her blocks are too segregated and there is too little cross-over.
Her people are too unaware, and too comfortable.
She is letting big business and the elite have their way with her.
She doesn't know how beautiful she really is.
No one tells her.
She is hiding her true face beneath a veil that is too easy to lift
for us to have not done so yet.
All we have to do is walk far on her streets,
wander deep into her clusters of buildings and people.
Her veil, her high walls, her mystery and ugly mask
are all gone
as soon as you believe they are,
and act like they are.