Pastor Roger asked me to share a bit of what God's done in my life at church today....
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My story here began two years ago, during my freshman orientation at MICA.
Two members of the Light core group were there to tell students about this new church that would have it's very first Sunday service that week. They invited me to come, and I came.
What I remember the most about that first Sunday was the way that God moved these people. Like, literally, they were moving. During worship, a few of them made art, and some danced and smiled. Later, when I heard their stories about how God had transformed their lives, I understood why.
I wanted a dramatic, life changing encounter with God too. But in my mind, this didn't seem possible, I felt like didn't have much of a story to tell. I was lucky enough to be born and raised in a Christian family, going to church and learning about God all throughout my childhood. When I was seven I believed that Jesus was who he said he was - God's son - and that my only way to heaven was through Him. So I decided to be baptized, and God did begin a steady, lifelong transformation process in me.
Although I was captivated by God even in elementary school, I was also captivated by my own achievements and good reputation.
I remember, in the fifth grade, being really confident that I had won the affections of my long time crush, Joshua Love, by becoming student council president, a safety patrol, and an anchor on our school's makeshift morning news show.
The achievements continued. In middle and high school my relationship with God grew close, and while He played a big role in my identity, I had Him share the stage with my successes in gymnastics, art and school. I developed a rank and an image to live up to, always itching for more gold stars to feel good about, always stepping outside of myself to make sure I was doing the "right" thing, looking the "right" way. I looked up to people who went to big name colleges, people with impressive resumes.
Then I met the people at the Light.
Not to say that these people weren't impressive - they very much are - but for different reasons.
Here were people who didn't let the world's gold stars identify them.
Here were people who wanted to give up prestige, artistic fame, medical careers, and all former ways of life to follow after Christ.
Here was a church where reputation is thrown to the wind, and people dance, make art, and become spellbound by a father who has transformed their lives.
They were eccentric, not so much weird, though most of them are, but ex- centric, ex-centered, living out of a center beyond themselves.
They seem to be sustained from beyond, energized from outside, their attentions orbiting not around themselves, but around God and other people, like me.
They brought fresh baked bread to my studio late at night during finals, they responded with "I'm on my way" when I called from a bus stop at midnight asking for a ride home, they spent their saturday helping me move, and then would pay for my dinner.
In this church I've found people who I now share my life with, like a faimly. God has used them to show me his true character.
He is grace, He gives these gifts that are far beyond what I'm able to earn with my good deeds.
He is my dad, and loves me so much that not a single pleasing thing I do will make him love me more.
This fact has given me an extreme amount of rest lately. I've found that when I invest in prayer and time with Him, I suddenly have more time to paint, and I feel less pressure to please other people by "doing it all."
Basing my identity on the sole fact that I am a child of God is still a constant struggle though - I still want everyone to like me, I still want to be politically correct, and I still put ungodly people up on pedestals. The enemy still tells me that letting go of some of the "good" things I do will mean failure. But these are all lies. I've found that even what's good should be sacrificed for what's best. And the best thing I can do with my life is develop a relationship with my heavenly Father, who is hopelessly in love with me not because I'm a safety patrol or on the morning news show, but because he made me, and I'm His.
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